Friday 3 October 2008

Brown's reshuffle statement in full

We face a new era and new challenges, different from those we faced in 1997, which is why I've decided to bring back into government a bunch of has-beens who faced those other challenges in 1997.

We need serious people for serious times, plus Peter Mandelson.

We need to reinvent government in these serious times, which is why I'm going to create several new quangos and committees, to give people the impression I've got a Scooby how to get us out of the economic mess I helped create, which of course I don't. None of these new bodies will actually have any power, but hey, it makes it look like I'm actually doing something.

We need to change the way we govern in these serious times, but don't expect me to do anything silly like introducing fair votes or revitalising local democracy. What do you think I am, a Liberal Democrat?Exercising total power on just 36% of the vote is the way we do things in this country.

Although Peter Mandelson and I have had our ups and downs in the past - which as you know is code for 'we hate each other's guts but I can't admit it in public' - I am delighted to have him back in government in these serious times. He has been a brilliant European trade commissioner, despite not actually achieving a deal in the Doha trade negotiations.

Did I mention that we face serious times and that I'm a serious person - unlike Cameron or David Miliband?

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