Saturday, 3 May 2008

The next Lib Dem London Mayoral candidate

The Lib Dems need to start thinking as soon as possible about who we get to stand as our candidate for London Mayor next time round.

In my view, the candidate needs to be someone with impeccable London connections; with good name recognition across the capital; who can handle the media spotlight; is utterly cool under pressure; is intelligent, cultured and has an internationalist outlook; is not a conventional politician; has a good track record of success; knows the importance of getting a good team around him and knows how to spend millions of pounds wisely.

Where would we find such a person? Well, step forward Mr Arsene Wenger.

OK, there would be a few drawbacks with having him as the candidate. We wouldn't get many votes in Tottenham, Chelsea or West Ham, but we don't get much support there anyway, so that wouldn't be a problem. With him at the helm, our campaign would completely grind to a halt in April. And if he became Mayor, assaults would probably rise under his watch, as if people started kicking each other, he just wouldn't be able to see it unless the people doing it come from Liverpool or Manchester.

But we would have a couple of ready-made slogans available:
Put a cross in the box for Arsene.
Arsene: he talks balls far less than Boris.

1 comment:

Julian H said...

Yes yes yes. Bernard, you are a genius.

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