Tuesday, 15 September 2009

A complete history of England

Ancient Britons felt blue. Romans came, saw and conquered, built a wall and left. Alfred burned some cakes. 1066 and all that. Magna Carta died in vain. Agincourt and Crecy*. Henry VIII had six mothers-in-law. Frankie and Betty bowled out the Armada. Charles I lost his head. George III went mad and lost America. Nelson was armless. At Waterloo Napoleon did surrender. Victoria invents sponge cakes and waterfalls and Prince Albert invents the Prince Albert. Two World Wars and one World Cup. Extra-time with the Argies.

Is that all OK for the officially recognised patriotic version, Melanie?

* But don't mention who actually won the Hundred Years' War, natch.

1 comment:

Frank H Little said...

Great fun - I chuckled throughout - but Mrs Rozenberg raises a serious question: why should we be patriotic? What are the England, Scotland, Wales and UK which we should defend, possibly at the cost of our lives?

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