Here is your handy cut out and keep guide to points or phrases which Nick Clegg is likely to use during his leader's speech to conference today.
The first person to shout out 'Bingo' as Nick reaches his peroration wins an all-expenses paid trip to Siberia in the company of Evan Harris (return flights not included).
Here are the points or phrases to look out for:
Make It Happen
"A child born in the poorest parts of Sheffield will on average die 14 years before a child born in the richest parts"
A comparison of the relative economic stature/experience of Vince Cable and George Osborne
The Bullingdon Club
A joke which features Alistair Darling's surname
"Go back to your constituencies and prepare for..."
A reference to David Cameron cycling to work, followed in a car by his shoes
Shopping at Sainsbury's
A joke about the '30 lovers'
A reference to the number of people voting in The X Factor/Big Brother
The election that never was
Mention of a pop group which has been in the charts over the last few months, to show how in touch he is (my money's on Noah and the Whale)
A joke about the Lib Dems causing global chaos by holding a conference
An outdated comedy reference
Iraq and ISIL
1 week ago